Zoe Ysabelle

Here's our little angel.... =)

She'll be a month-old tomorrow. My mother-in-law and sister-in-law are staying at our place so they can cook some birthday pancit for little Zoe. :)

Happy One-Month Zoe!

Zoe Ysabelle

"Every parent thinks he has the most beautiful baby in the world. Evolution, it seems, has molded our brains so that if you stare at your own baby's face day after day after day, it starts to look beautiful. When other people's children have food clotted on their faces, it looks disgusting; with your own kid, it's somehow endearing."

-- From "Freakonomics", by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner

So here's our beautiful little girl...

(L-R) At the Hospital, First Day at Home, Lazing Around in the Sala

Zoe and Dad

Candid Shots

Zoe Today

"When a child is born, a parent is born..."

-- From a billboard at EDSA

"Ang pagibig ko, parang korupsyon sa gobyerno...hindi magbabago..."

-- From Carlo Maceda's love letter to Aleck Bovick, as read in an episode of the TV show Boy & Kris

Tomorrow...

"The sun will come out...tomorrow..."

So now, it's tomorrow. Internet is still slow. We still have no DSL. I've postponed some scheduled tasks I wanted to finish, because we had to go to the doctor today. I have been informed that it's possible to have labor induced tomorrow...not really for any urgent medical condition, but mainly for the peace of mind of B. and perhaps everyone else. There were some concerns that maybe the baby wasn't moving as much as it should...although the non-stress test (NST) conducted today didn't really show anything wrong. But just so nobody worries...and tomorrow seems to be a good date...

But frankly, I am a bit worried. I don't really want to rush things...I wanted to let nature take its course. Plus all those worrying things I've been reading about the risks of induced labor...at sayang naman yung childbirth classes! Haha. The drugs required to induce labor really bothers me though...I have to admit that so far, I've never had an IV injected into me ever before. But then again, it seems in Manila, having your perineum cut and an IV stuck to you is considered the norm. So when I learned that I sort of had no choice in the matter...it did depress me for a few days. But I've accepted it now. Choices, choices, choices. And my choice was to accept that. (Note that you can opt not to go for this choice -- you just have to find an OB and hospital that will cooperate with your preference.)

So far, I'm not sure about the induced labor yet.

Waiting Game

We just moved house a week ago. Truth is, everything's expensive...and I haven't even given birth yet! Yeah yeah, I should quit complaining, we're getting by anyway. So let me shut my mouth and just list down the things I'm currently waiting for:

1. waiting for baby
   
2. waiting for PLDT to put up additional DSL ports in our area (sometimes I get the feeling PLDT does not really want additional subscribers)
   
3. waiting for the tubero (uhm...friendly neighborhood water expert?) to fix our plumbing
   
4. waiting for the electrician to come and fix some of our cable and wirings
   
5. waiting for my energy to come back so I can sort through some stuff that needs sorting
   
6. waiting for the baby to come
   
7. waiting for payday
   
8. waiting for my credit card bills to arrive so I can freely have a heart attack
   
9. waiting for my slow prepaid dial-up internet connection to load web pages
   
10. waiting for the drought to end, so we don't have to collect water in case of a water shortage
    
11. waiting for a more efficient government
    
12. waiting for the contractions to start...really start
13. waiting for tomorrow

so we keep waiting
waiting on the world to change
we keep on waiting
waiting on the world to change

-- John Mayer, Waiting on the World to Change

Under the Influence and Over the BS

You can like the life you're living
You can live the life you like...

So goes a song used in one of the commercials repeatedly shown on the ETC Channel.

Lately, the song has been running through my head. Maybe it's because I watch too much late night TV. Or maybe, because (gasp!) I've been really ruminating on something that's been bothering me -- what I really want.

The main word for the past few days (and maybe even the past year), is "influence". Mostly, the lack thereof. Or to put it depressingly, my own seeming lack thereof. Of course, deep down inside, I don't believe that BS. But even deeper down inside, there's the gnawing doubt that hey, maybe Big Brother is right.

The universe conspires to give you what you really want. And I believe that. But the trouble is, sometimes there's this vague struggle on what is it that I really want. I think one of my weaknesses is I'm generally carefree -- the secret of youth -- let life take you where it may. Don't get me wrong, I'm no pushover. If I really want something, I go for it. If I really don't like something, I stand up against it. But (and there's the "but" again), most of the time, I just enjoy life, and I don't really express any strong desire for anything.

Wimp din ako minsan, lalo na when I realize na I've been left behind. Parang batang iniwanan na ng mga kalaro. Tapos magmumukmok sa isang madilim na sulok. Haha.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. But the world will never listen to what has never been said either. Despite my reluctance to be loud and carry my own torch, if I do not want to be buried and forgotten, eventually I would have to do just that. Sell all my principles to be the next big thing. Hehe. Don't worry. Of course, I'm just joking.

Anyway, the point of this post is, I have to take action. I have to make a choice. Shape up or ship out. Like it or change it. Sulk or do something about it.

Once again, I have to grow up.

And please. Enough BS from other people.