Team Joey

http://www.pbase.com/xieurx/tnf&page=all

Friday afternoon, Beng texted me to ask: "Pwede ka ba mag-support group sa North Face Challenge?"

It was an adventure challenge race sponsored by North Face (duh), partly to launch their first official store in the Philippines, soon to open at the Shangrila Mall at Crossing. From Timberland Heights in San Mateo, Rizal, the participants were supposed to bike, then trek through the mountains to go to Wawa, Montalban; do a Tyrolean traverse across Wawa Dam; bike through the rivers and muddy slopes of Montalban, rappel, boulder-climb, then run all the way from SSS Village in Marikina to Libis, Quezon City. Whew. What a tiring activity! I was only part of the support group, so we mainly just waited for the participants to reach certain points so we can assist them, but it was really tiring. The hot noonday sun shone bright at Wawa Dam, and just going back and forth between the parking area and the dam area itself made me feel I was part of the race. The heat, the sweat, the sun. Ah, what more for the participants of the actual race? May karapatan pa ba akong magreklamo na umitim ako, eh mas lalo na kaya yung mga participants dun sa race!

In any case, even with all the scratches and injuries and hardships endured, no doubt the participants would want to do it again next year. Ganyan naman pag adventure racing, pag mountain climbing, pag scuba diving. Pag naumpisahan mo na, katawan mo na lang ang bibigay, pero hindi ang puso mo.

twisted

This is a sell-out. Writing song lyrics to pretend that I have some deep emotion that I can't express otherwise in my own heartfelt words. Perhaps because there are no heartfelt words. Or perhaps there are no words. Or no heartfelt emotion deep enough to stir something out of my dazed brain. In any case, I struggle along. Just like everybody else. Going by on too little sleep, too much food, and too little exercise. Trying to second-guess fate and love and destiny and my customers at work. Okay, that was too deep. I am not trying to second-guess destiny and love and fate. I don't even know what's in store for me.

Finally, things are moving a bit more smoothly at work. I'm still an insomniac. Hello, I'm writing a blog at 2AM when I have to be up by 5AM today. But then, isn't the search for the meaning of life a deeper purpose than trying to get some sleep? Ah, the wonders of twisted logic.

Song lyrics swirl in my head. I wish I was someplace else, but I am here. Right now. Right here. And there are so many things to do here. So many things to see, so many places to go to, so many friends to spend time with. And so little time. And so little resources. So what do I do? I end up writing a blog at 2AM in the morning. So many things that can be done, and I wonder, have I let life just whizz by me? Am I giving up part of who I am, to accommodate how some other person sees me? And by limiting who I am to spend it with someone else, am I not also limiting his options and locking him up in some relationship prison? And I wonder...and I second-guess. They say you gotta play your cards just right, and sometimes I just want to be like a wet dog who just gets out of the damn water and shakes its fur and walks away.

Ah...the wonders of twisted analogies.

a song for the broken hearted

I don't know why I'm into song lyrics now. Anyway, while I was riding home in a taxi, I heard this song on the radio, and it just reminded me of the times when I was broken hearted and I couldn't even bear to hear this song...mainly because the lyrics were playing in my head and punching me where it hurts the most.

Anyway, those times are over, or so I think. :) So this song is dedicated to those who've gone through heartbreak and back. And back again.

So far away
Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore?
It would be so fine to see your face at my door
Doesn't help to know you're just time away

Long ago I reached for you and there you stood
Holding you again could only do me good
How I wish I could, but you're so far away

One more song about movin' along the highway
Can't say much of anything that's new
If I could only work this life out my way
I'd rather spend it bein' close to you.

But you're so far away, doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore?
It would be so fine to see your face at my door
Doesn't help to know you're so far away

Oh, so far away
Travelin' around sure gets me down and lonely
Nothin' else to do but close my mind
I sure hope the road don't come to own me
There's so many dreams I've yet to find

But you're so far away, doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore?
It would be so fine to see your face at my door
And it doesn't help to know you're so far away

- Carole King, "So Far Away"

Buti na lang nandyan ka

Ako'y isang malungkot na bata
Palakad-lakad lang
Wala rin namang mapupuntahan
At madalas, madulas, at nung parang ayoko na

Buti na lang nandyan ka...buti na lang nandyan ka...sinta!!
Pano na lang ako kung wala ka, sinta?
Pano na lang ako?

Minsan ako'y naligaw ng daan
Tinalikuran ng kaibigan at biglang napag iwanan
At madalas, ako'y madulas, at nung parang ayoko na

Buti na lang nandyan ka...

*song by e-heads sound-alike, sugarfree -- "sinta"

just dreaming

Today, I glimpsed my future condo.

Well, not really. Because first of all, it wasn't really a condo, it was a residential hotel in the middle of Makati. One of those hotel-type apartments that cater to foreign business people assigned to Makati. It wasn't mine, because a company rented the room for the entire month for one of its expat professionals. The expat left early, before the end of the month, which was why BF and a few others were allowed to sleep and basically crash the place.

It was spacious, with a bed wide enough for three people, a kitchen, a sala, a dining area complete with a round dining table, a TV, DVD/VCD players, very soft sofa seats, and a striking view of Makati and the Roxas Blvd coastline (it was on the 19th floor). It was like a demo-unit of a dream one-bedroom condo unit. Perfect for parties and friendly get-togethers, or just for relaxing and chilling out. Kulang na lang ay wide-screen flat TV, and solve na ako.

I liked it. A lot.