Subjugation

I am subjugated.

And I scratch my head and wonder what has become of me. I remember the mother without a voice, whose independence she willingly gave up. "Kahit ano, bahala na ang tatay mo," sabi nya.

"How can I fall into space?" the song on the radio goes.

How can I slowly become what I dreaded to become in the first place.

I am subjugated, and right now I am a victim willingly offering myself up for slaughter. Kill yourself, kill your will, kill whoever you are to become the perfect person, the perfect wife, the perfect mother.

I am dark, and perhaps, this is what being grown up means for me.