The Meadow

I don't ask why, I just fall into the meadow
I close my eyes , and wait to die
Yes, I am a liar
Yes, I am a sinner
Please forgive my broken soul
Disappointment clouds the judgement. Or maybe it clarifies it, shifting the status quo and letting the light peek through the darkness. I am not sure. I have shaped and re-shaped the truth so much, it doesn't really matter anymore which version is real.

It just exists. Tortured, misconstrued, misunderstood. It exists, and though the real purpose is extremely unclear, I have to live and make peace with its existence.

Time will tell, the cliche goes. Because by then, it will be too late to live with anything else anyway.

If I had somewhere else to go
I could be a star like you
Special like you
A star like you
Special like you....
But I've got nowhere else to go

-- "The Meadow", Hed Pe

The United States of America

For me, the US is a double-edged sword. I love movies, so seeing the US first hand is like a dream come true, like a kid finally seeing Willy Wonka's Chocolate factory and knowing where his favorite chocolates came from. I am aware of the allure and the power of the US. I am also aware that there are times that this great big nation acts like a great big bully.

THE BAD

This one is from Anton San Diego's lifestyle column in the Inquirer. He was writing about his application for a US Visa. The lines were long and it was jampacked, he said.

It was still a long wait till my number lit up on the electronic board. I had forgotten that so many of Pinoys were applying for a US visa are professionals. Some were really desperate for a better life. The security guard told me they interview about 1,000 people a day.

All of a sudden there was a loud scream. The whole room literally woke up and tried to find out what happened. We thought that a visa officer was shouting at an applicant.

It turns out this young boy and his mom had to demonstrate taekwondo techniques to the visa officer: the child needed a visa to be able to compete for a taekwondo tournament.

Now how did I know that? My seat mate told me. She said, "Ganyan talaga dito!" I could hear the mom desperately cajole her young son, 'Sige pa anak, haya!'

....

As I was leaving, there was a lovely girl being interviewed in one window. She suddenly began singing..... As I left the embassy ..... I could also not help but think of the lure of the US in our lives. It is still the land of milk and honey, where dreams are made possible. I only wished that one day we could see our country the way we see the US

For some reason, the article left a bitter taste in my mouth. Why do we need to demean ourselves to get a US visa? I find showcasing taekwondo skills and singing in front of a grumpy visa officer demeaning and insulting. But we do all that. For a chance to go to the US. To see what the big Hollywood fuss is about. To see how a better life feels like. To be in the land of milk and money. I wish someday our country can be enough. Sigh.


THE GOOD

Well, the upside to being rich and powerful is, they have money to burn and the conscience to do it. Help them decide. Affix your signature to The One Campaign to end poverty. (Thanks to Simon and Sheila for the link)

Giving Up

I know, the picture isn't even remotely about giving up. Well, it's really subject to interpretation. I saw this pic while surfing for things to do at Kota Kinabalu. Somehow it grabbed my attention.

Current mood: tired, frustrated, about to pack up, give up, and go on a vacation.

The next thing to the next best thing

If the next best thing to winning is losing, what's the best thing? Hmm. Duh. =)

Pyros Chicks! June 5, 2005 -- Manila Bay, 1st Leg Regatta 3rd Place, Women's Division

Toda -- The Ooltimeyt Disk Athletes June 12, 2005 -- ACC, PUA Summer Love League We won! Now, we're only the third worst team in the league!

And Mike Tyson retires (again)

On a hectic Sunday morning, I turned on the TV and caught Mike Tyson's boxing match. It was his fight with Irishman Kevin McBride, billed as Tyson's "comeback" after many turbulent years of boxing semi-retirement. Astoundingly, by round 7, Tyson just sat on his corner and decided not to continue the fight. As in, he just sat there, and the referee made the decision to call the fight. McBride won by technical knockout.

What struck me was the after-game interview that Tyson gave. Why did you sit in the corner, the interviewer asked. "I just didn't find it in my heart to continue the fight," Tyson said. He had no more passion, no more heart for the sport. If he could, he would have wanted to return the money to the people who paid to watch the fight. "Was this lack of heart present when you started the fight?", he was asked. Yes, he said. So why'd you do it?, the reporter persisted. "Because I had to pay my bills."

Hahaha. That drew a loud guffaw from me. So honest. No bullsh*t. (Either that, or he just knew he was going to lose). Hmm.

--------------------
Find of the week: Salcedo Saturday Market at Velasquez Park, Salcedo Village, Makati City.

Every Saturday morning, vendors gather at the parking area of Velasquez Park to sell organic food, veggies, and plants. Lots of yummy food! There are affordable regional dishes (like laing, pancit habhab, etc), gourmet food (there's a stall named "weekend gourmet", being managed by a former chef of Mandarin Oriental Hotel's Tivoli resto. The food looked yummy -- pasta, roast lamb chop -- but a bit pricey for the area), the requisite baked goodies and bottled sauces (cream cheese, pesto, tomato sauce), flowers and plants for sale. (Imagine, a dozen roses for 150 pesos. In Makati!). This is of course, aside from the fresh organic produce you can find here -- mountain rice, organic veggies, live seafood, etc. If you've nothing to do, you can visit the area and eat your lunch/breakfast/morning merienda there. There's a certain charm in the outdoor market, and the place isn't normally overcrowded.

**Jaime C. Velasquez Park is located at Salcedo Village, Makati. It is across the street from Starbucks Leviste. The Salcedo Market is open every Saturday, 7AM - 2PM.

Hanggang Kailan

HANGGANG KAILAN
Orange and Lemons

labis na naiinip
nayayamot sa bawat saglit

kapag naaalala ka
wala naman akong magawa


umuwi ka na baby
di na ako sanay nang wala ka
mahirap ang mag-isa
at sa gabi hinahanap-hanap kita...


hanggang kailan ako maghihintay
na makasama kang muli sa buhay kong
puno ng paghihirap

at tanging ikaw lang ang pumapawi
sa mga luha, at naglalagay ng ngiti sa mga labi


di mapigilang mag-isip
na baka sa tagal, mahulog ang loob mo sa iba
nakakabalisa, knock on wood, huwag naman sana...


umuwi ka na baby
di na ako sanay nang wala ka
mahirap ang mag-isa
at sa gabi hinahanap-hanp kita...

hanggang kailan ako maghihintay
na makasama kang muli sa buhay kong
puno ng paghihirap

at tanging ikaw lang ang pumapawi
sa mga luha, at naglalagay ng ngiti sa mga labi


umuwi ka na baby...

Here comes the bride ;-)

---ooo---
There are three things in life that once gone, never come back -- words, time, and opportunity.

---ooo---

Nilalangaw

One of Elbert's Galera pictures...

Coolness -- Imago and Sin City

Nagtatanong, bakit mahirap sumabay sa agos ng iyong mundo
Nagtataka, simple lang naman ang buhay kung ika'y matino

Sabihin sa akin, lahat ng lihim mo, iingatan ko
Ibaling sa kin, ang problema mo, kakayanin ko

Pikit mata kong iaalay ang buwan at araw
Pati pa sapatos kong suot

Sasamahan ka sa tamis, sa pait, sa dilim
Sasamahan ka hanggang langit

Sabihin sa akin, lahat ng lihim mo, iingatan ko

--- "Akap", by Imago ---

Aya's singing accompanied me on the way home. It is almost 3 am, and I am sleepy. But here I am. Writing a blog. I've just watched Sin City, and I liked it. It's cool how the movie jives with the comics, how the mood and the setting were captured on film. With the comics creator Frank Miller as a co-director, it's no wonder that the scenes in the movie are amazingly faithful to the comic book illustrations. It's also cool that Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez's love for the movies shines through in every movie that they make. I wonder which scenes Tarantino guest-directed. And Knotty Don's right, Mickey Rourke as Marv reminds me a lot of Hellboy too.

P.S. -- I just found out which scene Tarantino directed. Check it out here. Cool!

She Says, and I Concur

For the past week, this song has been drumming through my head. Sure, sue me for liking a shallow mellow rock-ish break up song. But it's catchy, and I like yelling along with it. =)

"She Says"
Unwritten Law

Father I've sinned
over and over and over and over again
sorry my friends
I'm such a mess
I'm doing the best I can
She says "where ya goin? where ya been?"
She says "I don't want you hanging out with them"
She leaves like she's never coming back again on and on...
it goes on and on YEA

She says "I don't love you like I loved you before"
She says, she says "I don't love you anymore"

and mother I've tried over and over and over to open my eyes
look at my life
tell me when did I die
cause I'm not alive
flip through the script and tell me what it says
skip through the story tell me how it ends
she says that we're probably better off as friends
on and on and... yeeeaaaa

she says "I don't love you like I loved you before"
She says, she says.... YEEEAAAA
She says "I don't love you. I don't love you anymore."
She says, she says "I don't love you. I don't love you. I don't love you anymore."
she says she says she says "where ya going"
I know I know I know I know I know
she says she says she says "where ya going"
I know I know I know I know I know
she says she says she says "where ya going"
I know I know I know I know I know
she says she says she says "where ya going"
I know I know I know I know I know
WHAT I WANT

you... you called the police
you called them on me
and I want to go anywhere but home
I... I'm done listening to whats wrong with me
cause it goes on and on and on and on YEA

she says "I dont love you like I loved you before"
she says she says... YEEEAAA
she says "I dont love you. I don't love you anymore"
she says, she says "I dont love like I love you anymore."

Yep, I'm done listening with what's wrong with me. I may not love you like I loved you before, but I always will. I always have.

Flying Away

...Fly away on my zephyr
I feel it more then ever
And in this perfect weather
We’ll find a place together...

They're going away...Lala's off to sunny Singapore, while May will be going to tony Toronto. Hmm...I feel a bit sad that we won't be able to see each other again that easily. But it's a big big world for a big big girl...and I'm pretty sure we'll be able to catch up with each other somehow. The cliche is true -- it's never really goodbye, it's always till we meet again. Enjoy the ride girls! And know that I am forever thankful that I have met people like you.

Hehe. Drama ko! =) Balato ha! Hehehe. Mwah!