My Almost-Diving Trip

One rainy day we decided to go to Dumaguete, the "land of the gentle people", as they call it. We had our itinerary -- the first day would be the city tour (Siliman U!); the next day we'd go diving at Apo Island Nature Reserve, one of the most beautiful dive sites around; the third day we'd go dolphin and whale watching at nearby Bais City; and the last day we'll just laze around.

Well, you know what happens to well-laid plans ... they either get done or they don't, and something else about mice and men. So here are some pictures of Apo Island, where we snorkled. Well to be fair, the snorkeling grounds had beautiful corals and big fishes, that will entrance you and make you forget that you are swimming against the big waves of the rainy season. But still...since I wouldn't be diving again till next year, maybe I should've gone ahead and dived. :)

In any case, we had fun viewing the beautiful corals, and the fun is what matters sometimes.

More pictures about Dumaguete on the next post.

Kicking and Screaming

I remember, I remember when I lost my mind
There was something so pleasant about that phase
Even your emotions had an echo
And so much space...

-- Gnarls Barkley, "Crazy"

I must be losing my mind. Which isn't healthy. Really. And I can let you know more details but I guess in the end it really is not interesting. Nothing matters much, and the truth is, I am afraid of being depressed and not being strong enough for the things that don't and do matter. It's such a pathetically weak response that I want to bonk my head and knock some sense into me. Someone should be looking out for me, damnit. Argg!

But maybe I'm crazy
Maybe you're crazy
Maybe we're crazy
Probably...

Storm's Farewell

Storm singing one of my favorite songs on Rockstar Supernova's Week 10 Elimination Show -- Pink Floyd's "Wish You Were Here"

Videoke

I walked around my good intentions
and found that there were none...

Just when you thought it was all over...well it's never done. It never ends, and maybe it's the predictability of something always going wrong that lends the whole effort a sheen of fatalistic desperation.

Sometimes I see the sunshine peeking out from above those pesky gray rain clouds, and hope surges within. The operative word here is "sometimes". Because right now I am so tired, and I don't really care anymore if you don't look up from your safe coccoon and notice how I'm slowly drifting away. Because maybe you can't see that. Because maybe you already know all about desperation and not going anywhere despite your best efforts. And you know that all this crying out is useless, to paraphrase that slow acoustic Googoo Dolls song.

"And I wonder where these dreams go
When the world gets in your way
Whats the point in all this screaming
No one's listening anyway..."

-- Googoo Dolls, "Acoustic # 3"

The world will always be the same. And I do so need to change.

If I don't make it
Know that I've loved you all along
Just like sunny days that we ignore
because we're all dumb & jaded...

-- Our Lady Peace, "4 AM"