Videoke

I walked around my good intentions
and found that there were none...

Just when you thought it was all over...well it's never done. It never ends, and maybe it's the predictability of something always going wrong that lends the whole effort a sheen of fatalistic desperation.

Sometimes I see the sunshine peeking out from above those pesky gray rain clouds, and hope surges within. The operative word here is "sometimes". Because right now I am so tired, and I don't really care anymore if you don't look up from your safe coccoon and notice how I'm slowly drifting away. Because maybe you can't see that. Because maybe you already know all about desperation and not going anywhere despite your best efforts. And you know that all this crying out is useless, to paraphrase that slow acoustic Googoo Dolls song.

"And I wonder where these dreams go
When the world gets in your way
Whats the point in all this screaming
No one's listening anyway..."

-- Googoo Dolls, "Acoustic # 3"

The world will always be the same. And I do so need to change.

If I don't make it
Know that I've loved you all along
Just like sunny days that we ignore
because we're all dumb & jaded...

-- Our Lady Peace, "4 AM"