running deep

Still waters run deep, so they say. So this time, I am trying to be still. Or rather, trying to be silent. Doesn't silence equal stillness?

I have been silent in this blog for the past week. I've been making progress in my work project, although my work is still delayed and I'm still cramming to catch up. I'm not just fighting against my own laziness, I am also fighting against my laptop's tendency to hang, to flicker, and to show me a blank white screen at inappropriate times. There's something wrong with my video display driver...although I think I'm getting my boss's old laptop (since he's getting a new one). Oh, the wonders of hand-me-downs.

So anyway, in the relative silence of the past week, here are some realizations I have had:

• "Integrity" -- integrity is keeping one's word, but integrity does not just refer to how you keep your word with others. It also involves keeping your word to yourself. If you tell yourself that you're going to do something, and you end up not doing it, you have no integrity. You don't respect yourself enough to keep your own promises.
  
  I learned this while attending the Effective Communications seminar we had earlier in the week. The whole seminar was not really worth it, everything they taught was a summary of what we learned during college Comm1-3. But the definition of integrity was one of the things that struck me (during the times when I was actually listening). I really needed to keep my own word. And do the things I said I'd do.
  
  
• "Positive thinking" -- realization while browsing through the self-help books at Powerbooks. Yes, you actually have to visualize accomplishing your task, and reaching your goals. It all starts in your mind. If you can't visualize it, it can't happen.
  
  
• "Tempus fugit" -- Time flies. It's Sunday again. Isn't it amazing? Plus, I've been browsing through my old notebooks earlier (looking for a scratch paper to use), and it turns out it has been exactly one year since I enrolled for IS2 (Thesis Defense) for my Master's degree. Time really flies; one year later, I still haven't done anything. BUT...I will do something about that. Sometime later, when I'm not so busy and not so trying to kill myself with worry and work.
  
  
• "Work Out" -- We're going to climb again next week. I'm totally out of shape, haven't gone to the gym for more than a month now. Well, I'd have to start this week then. Since they say the climb is difficult, lots of river-crossings and 90-degree climbs.
  
  I do remember the first time I climbed a mountain. I was hungover from a gimik the night before. Too much booze and smoking, so while I was climbing up this mountain, my head was aching, I was sweating like a pig, and I was running out of breathe. And that folks, is not something I'd like to feel again.
  

Okay, my laptop's screen is starting to flicker again. I gotta go. Ciao.