twisted

This is a sell-out. Writing song lyrics to pretend that I have some deep emotion that I can't express otherwise in my own heartfelt words. Perhaps because there are no heartfelt words. Or perhaps there are no words. Or no heartfelt emotion deep enough to stir something out of my dazed brain. In any case, I struggle along. Just like everybody else. Going by on too little sleep, too much food, and too little exercise. Trying to second-guess fate and love and destiny and my customers at work. Okay, that was too deep. I am not trying to second-guess destiny and love and fate. I don't even know what's in store for me.

Finally, things are moving a bit more smoothly at work. I'm still an insomniac. Hello, I'm writing a blog at 2AM when I have to be up by 5AM today. But then, isn't the search for the meaning of life a deeper purpose than trying to get some sleep? Ah, the wonders of twisted logic.

Song lyrics swirl in my head. I wish I was someplace else, but I am here. Right now. Right here. And there are so many things to do here. So many things to see, so many places to go to, so many friends to spend time with. And so little time. And so little resources. So what do I do? I end up writing a blog at 2AM in the morning. So many things that can be done, and I wonder, have I let life just whizz by me? Am I giving up part of who I am, to accommodate how some other person sees me? And by limiting who I am to spend it with someone else, am I not also limiting his options and locking him up in some relationship prison? And I wonder...and I second-guess. They say you gotta play your cards just right, and sometimes I just want to be like a wet dog who just gets out of the damn water and shakes its fur and walks away.

Ah...the wonders of twisted analogies.