Thoughts From Where the Tree Fell: the Saga of the Runaway Bride

Much as I would like everyone to like me and the decisions I make in life, I can't.

Of course it makes me sad. Much as this is my life, and my life only, the world of course is not just about me.

I do wish sometimes that this can be some sort of fairy tale, where everyone lives happily ever after and there's this big, grand joyous celebration at the end of the tale. But really, there are no such things as fairy tales.

The ironic thing is, why are weddings lonely times? Isn't this supposed to be a joyous occasion? If I were a princess, should not the whole kingdom rejoice and celebrate in merriment? Put it this way -- my opinion is, the whole marriage ceremony as we Filipinos celebrate it, is something being done for the enjoyment of the guests. It's to thank them for being part of our lives, and to let them know that we wish them to be part of our future lives as husband and wife. So if the guests don't really care or are not really happy for us, then why the hell are we holding this wedding celebration anyway? Might as well just invite a few close family and friends. And just them. No one else.

Frankly, at this point, I feel really alone. My mother has told me not to come back home after the wedding. Of course, this sounds harsher than it really means. She just meant, that since I'll be building a new home, that's where I should be. But still of course that statement bothered me a bit. Some of my friends are really distant these days too. One of my bridesmaids is not really speaking to me, for some reason that's not really too clear with me. More than a few people have told me in no uncertain terms that they do not agree with my decision, that I could do better, that I deserve someone better. Better in what sense? What can define "better" anyway? Someone richer? Someone more handsome? But she was the one who told me not to go out with this other person before. "Anyone but him," she said. And I listened. I listened and I did just that. And now, I'm still listening too. It's just that I decided differently in the end.

I would like to think that my decision was made, because it was based on love, because it was based on trust, and because it was based on faith. It is based on honesty, on a truthful look into who I am, who he is, and what really matters most. Yes, issues about financial security did make me think hard. But money does not make a person happy, though it might help a lot. And who knew what the future may bring in anyway? My father has told me that the one criteria I should look for in a man is industry -- he has to be persevering and hard working. Silver spoons in the mouth are just that -- silver spoons that stay in the mouth and become a liability. A man is who he makes himself to be. He is made, not born. And character cannot be judged by social standing or the lack thereof.

Of course I appreciate all my friends thoughts. It's better than them talking behind my back, but then again since these days they don't talk to me, that's probably what they're doing anyway.

Ok, maybe this post is harsher than it should be. After all, one of my childhood best friends has told me, that although she has some issues with me, she will support me and will be there for me if I need her.

But I need her now. I need all of my friends. Now.

Sa totoo lang, pagod na ako sa kakaisip. Pagod na ako sa paghahanda para sa kasal na ito. But then maybe this is just one of those days. And maybe, I should accept the fact that things really do change. And that sometimes, to move on, you have to say goodbye to some things.

But I don't want to say goodbye yet. And I don't want to lose my friends either.

"Cinderella and Prince Charming? In my parents' love story, there never was a glass slipper, pumpkin coach or fairy godmother. There were no castles or dancing mice. My parents made their own magic.

They still do."

From An Old-Fashioned Love Story, by Lorri Benedik
February 2006 Reader's Digest Asia

We make our own magic. We make our own fairy tales.