Tuesday, April 25, 2006

A Story About Nothing

When she wants to boggle her mind, she thinks about the origin of things.

"Ang sino mang hindi lumingon sa pinanggalingan ay hindi makakarating sa kanyang paroroonan," sabi nga ni Rizal.

So we need to look back and know where we came from in order to get to where we're going. Or do we really have to?

Her story

She is grateful to be where she is right now. She acknowledges the gift of circumstance and luck. Like a boring telenovela there are twists and turns in her story, but no real drama involved. And no real desire to create drama. But she does sometimes wish to know the truth. The real truth, without the gloss of coverups and half truths and half lies. The root cause of things. Questions swirl in her head. Why? Why did they do it? Was another name given to her? Why did they agree to all that? How did they cover it all up? How did they even conceive it? All the questions which she fears will be buried in the grave and never be answered.

The tragic thing is, she doesn't know where to begin.

So she is living in limbo. She doesn't know where she starts, or where she's going to end up. She just has to resign herself to her existence. She exists, she lives, and maybe that should be enough. The fruit doesn't fall far from the tree, they say. At least she knows where the tree is. She doesn't know how the fruit fell to where it is, but at least she knows the tree exists.

She just is. And that's the truth.

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