PLDT Sucks

Letter sent to PLDT DSL Customer Service Inquiry forum :

Hi,

I really need to complain to you about the speed with which my pldt connection accesses the internet. I have subscribed to a PLDT Professional DSL connection, which costs 2,500 a month. But I am entirely unable to use this DSL connection for anything. After 12 midnight, the connection speed is typically very very very very slow. It would be a miracle to be able to open up a webpage for surfing. Unfortunately, this is no exaggeration. It is always "page cannot be found".

Usually, day times are better. I can actually surf. But this afternoon, while aspiring to use my PLDT DSL connection to connect to work, I can't. Google takes a long time to load, yahoo mail needs several retries to load. Because of this, instead of working at home, I had to rush and endure traffic to go to the office to work. This had been a major inconvenience, and the bad thing about this is, I am paying YOUR COMPANY 2500 pesos for ME to be inconvenienced.

Please send a technician over to see what the problem is. Your level of service is entirely unacceptable. I have complained before by phone or through this inquiry form, to no avail. If I need to send an email to you everyday to get attention, I will. Hopefully this "lag" in service will be resolved by next month.

Thank you.

---

P.S. -- would it be possible for me to sue them? I'm really pissed off. Good thing the company reimburses me for DSL.

Dead Ducks

---

I am smellin' like the rose
that somebody gave me
'cause I'm dead & bloated
-- Stone Temple Pilots song

---

In a way, I am dead. So many things to do and yet, did I do anything? Did I even enjoy myself while I was not doing anything?

Let's see, this weekend, I managed to watch Imelda (a good film) by myself, had coffee and drinks and lunch and dessert and dinner with friends. I had a good night's sleep. Except for tonight of course, since I'm worried sick. All throughout this weekend, one thought keeps rushing through my brain. I'm a dead duck.

---

To be a success, you must be like a duck. On the surface be calm and serene, but underneath, paddle like hell.

---

I like that quote. And well, as cliches go, hope springs eternal. So if it's not yet the end, it's not. And ... I'm actually bigger and better than any so-called accomplishments and criterion. Or so I wish. As I said, hope springs eternal.

Discarded Dreams

After 27 years of living, dreams have been borne and killed along the way. Somehow, does it all even matter? I guess you could say I'm having an existential crisis.

In order to survive, in order to be sane, somehow I have had to readjust goals and readjust my definition of who I am and what I really want. Somewhere along the way, I must have lost myself a million times, and maybe who I find after may not be who I started with at first.

Does it even matter? If I lose my grip, without inconveniencing anyone else, will it even matter?

---

It's all right if you just want to be alone

It's all right if you just want to stay at home

I understand...I understand...I understand....

-- some obscure song whose lyrics I probably mangled

---

laptop snatcher from hell

Can I swear/curse?

I want to curse that greedy guy/girl/neanderthal who stole my freaking laptop. Instead of me luxuriating in the speed of a brand new HP NC6000 model, I have to contend with this Compaq Armada M300, circa 1990s. Its battery/reserve power doesn't work, so switching locations is a fucking pain in the ass. I have to reboot and restart, and it's not as if this baby can boot up without problems! Sometimes it hangs when shutting down. Sometimes it hangs when booting up. Sometimes it boots up the wrong way, sort of like waking up on the wrong side of the bed. When that happens, it simply doesn't want to open documents, and everything hangs. And you have to reboot. But it hangs first. So you do a hard reboot. And before you know it, an hour has already passed. And you're not even doing anything yet.

Why can't that stupid robber just get someone else's laptop? Someone whose existing laptop has a working battery! Urgh. And so instead of the laptop, I request for a replacement battery instead. Did you know that the battery cell for a Compaq Armada M300 costs more than 11,000 pesos? That's way too expensive for an overworked and overextended old model. But anyway, since I haven't worked up the courage to ask for a new laptop (again), that request will have to do. So far I don't know what the status is.

So anyway, why did I lose that fucking laptop anyway? Who the fuck stole that laptop? Did he/she need that to feed his/her starving family? Was someone's life saved because of the money gained in selling a stolen laptop? I'll never, will I? But sometimes I wish I knew. Just so I'll know if the tradeoff was good enough. If all this frustration I'm experiencing right now over a very slow PC is worth it.

P.S. -- as a backgrounder, one mysterious weekend, the laptop that the company assigned to me to replace the second-hand (or third-hand) laptop I'm using was stolen. I left it on my desk, box and all, one Friday night. Monday morning, it was gone, box and all. Investigation showed nothing. Well, at the most, investigation established the laptop was there Friday night, it was there right before 6AM Saturday morning, and it was gone after 6:30 AM Saturday morning. Of course, no culprit was caught.  

The reason why I'm hesitant to ask for another laptop is, one of the higher ups sort of blamed me for leaving the laptop on my office desk. Well, I sort of got used to an office environment where PCs don't get stolen. I left it inside the office, on my desk, but not inside a locked cabinet, which they say is my fault. So I'm hesitant, in case they remember to blame me again for the loss.

No hard feelings

come on try a little,

nothing is forever

there's got to be something better than in the middle...

 

But me and Cinderella,

We put it all together

We can drive it home

With one headlight...

 

-- The Wallflowers, One Headlight

 
 
Sometimes, the end starts inconspicuously enough.
 
And then you don't care anymore.
 
And next time you know, whatever it is isn't there anymore. And there's nothing you can do to hold on, nothing you can say to make things better, and it doesn't really matter if you care or not anymore. The end will have begun, and only a miracle can stop something like that.

yahoo....

Yahoo! :)

I got a good review today regarding my review on Eleven Minutes, Paulo Coehlo's book. Now, if only I could put all that enthusiasm and energy on my thesis and my work. Now that would be something. haha.

I should sleep now. Maybe I should sleep now, and just get the ball rolling tomorrow. Remember, a rolling ball gathers no moss. Sorry, that was very cheap but I had to say it.

So...gotta go sleep so I can do tomorrow what I've always been meaning to do the whole week -- that is, work, and my thesis. I can do it (just a little self-motivation here).

Yahoo. :(

Deep Inside of You

Third Eye Blind

When we met, light was shed
Thoughts free flow
You said you've got something
Deep inside of you

A wind chime voice sound
Sway of your hips round rings true
It goes deep inside of you
These secret garden beams
Changed my life, so it seems

A fall breeze blows outside
I don't break stride, my thoughts are warm
And they go deep inside of you
Oh yeah

And I never felt alone, alright
Oh oh, till I met you
Friends say I've changed
I don't listen 'cuz I live to be
Deep inside of you

Slide of her dress
Shouts in darkness, I'm so alive
I'm deep inside of you

You said, "boy make girl feel good"
But still, deep inside
Still

I've never felt alone
Till I met you
I'm alright on my own
And then I met you
And I'd know what to do

If I just knew what's coming
I would change myself if I could
I'd walk with my people if I could find them
And I'd say that I'm sorry to you
I'm sorry to you
And I don't want to call you
But then I want to call you
'Cuz I don't want to crush you
But I feel like crushing you, and it's true
I took for granted you were with me

I breathe by your looks and you look right through me
But we were broke and didn't know
We were broke and didn't know
We were broke and didn't know
We were broke and didn't know

Something's gone, you withdraw
And I'm not strong like before
I was deep inside of you
I can go nowhere

I burn candles and stare
At a ghost deep inside of you
And some great need in me
Starts to bleed
I've lost myself, there's nothing left
It's all gone

Deep inside of you
Deep inside of you
Deep inside of you

Black Coffee Ramblings

I love coffee. Black, aromatic, swirling hot coffee. I also like cold coffee -- ice cold with an almost mocha-like coffee taste. But on second thought, I think "love" is too strong a word. Some people really love coffee, and I bow to their much stronger passion. So I guess I just "like" coffee.

So, I like black coffee. No sugar. No cream. No anything. Just freshly brewed coffee. I started liking black coffee when I started attending seminars in hotels and they served you freshly brewed coffee but you had to mix your own sugar and cream. And well, I was all for expedient measures. So I just skipped the sugar and cream.

Before that, I took 3 teaspoons of instant coffee with two sugars and two cream. I like my coffee strong, none of that diluted-with-too-much-sugar-and-cream taste for me. Now, thank God there's an instant coffee vending machine in the office. I take it black, thank you.

And I took too much today.

---

"So much to do so much to see
So what's wrong with takin the backstreets
You'll never know if you don't go
You'll never shine if you don't glow"
-- All Star, smashmouth

---

And I have so many things to do but not really the will or the focus to do them. I mean, for one brief moment I'm motivated. And then...I procrastinate. I mean, this thesis stuff isn't really that important to me, otherwise I would have been finished with it. But it seems it's not really on my list of priorities, brain-wise or heart-wise. The degree doesn't seem to hold much weight for me right now. For some reason, perhaps because I can see that sometimes that degree doesn't really matter in the real world. If I was on my deathbed tomorrow I don't think I would regret not getting that master's degree. But...but the fact remains that the thing is so close and so near and so within reach, that it really is such a crying shame if I let go of it. And this "worry" thing over the whole issue, and this "insecurity" thing of others finishing it before I do, is such a heavy weight on my shoulders. It puts a damper to my mood, but obviously only for a little while each day. Otherwise I would have finished the damn thing. But still. It's almost a freaking year and it really is TIRING to be thinking about it that long. And know that it really doesn't matter to you but you have to finish it anyways because it's a crying shame. And I don't know how to metaphorically visualize it for you. It's like carrying a heavy weight and not really using the thing you're carrying. You're just carrying it because...someday you might use it. I don't know.

Okay, that is one hell of a long paragraph. And this caffeine rush is still pushing me on. So in the meantime, let me try working on all the things I *need* to do.

So long.

FULL (of pastas and PLDT DSL)

FULL

I am very full.
and very sleepy.

Why do all pastas taste alike? All the pricey pastas are delicious, but somehow, they all taste alike.

Why do I like to sleep too much? If only i didn't sleep that much,
but i do. i fall asleep and i find it hard to get up in the morning. i procrastinate till kingdom come...

sigh...
...and a really big sigh
...and an even bigger sigh...

okay, it's now 12 midnight and PLDT's MyDSL connection is once again acting up. Or it's not acting up, because it's very SSSSLLLLOOOOOWWWWW. S-L-O-W. SLOW. Sometimes this DSL connection is really not worth it. I mean, dial-up connection is sometimes even faster. And it's usually like this. After midnight, I'm lucky if I even get to surf at all. And it only happens at night. In the mornings, it's the usual speed I would expect from a DSL connection that is quite expensive. And at night, I want to murder those PLDT monopoly bastards. I've tried complaining to their helpdesk, but of course to no avail. I mean, what can they do really?

Sigh.

It's a fact of life, but it's really sad that we consider this crappy service as a fact of life. It's a testament to how forgiving we are as a people, but it's also proof of how we allow ourselves to be abused and mistreated by those in power. Simply because they can. And simply because we think we have no choice. And simply because we don't want to rock the boat. And I'm referring not just to crappy "DSL" service from PLDT, but also to intermittent brownouts from Napocor, and water shortages from MWSS. The basic utilities, which, as taxpayers, we all have a basic right to be provided with. And don't get me started on taxes! and the road constructions that never end and highway toll fees that keep rising. I'm not even complaining about the transportation hike and the gas hikes yet. That, well, that's part of the economy I guess. But basic service! We're paying for their service, and they act as if it's their God-given right to be paid, and we're just lucky that they even bless us mortals with their mere monopolistic presence.

Grr...

Everyone is not every one

Everyone's interesting.

Everyone has a hobby, a unique thing they like to do, and well, i don't begrudge them that. It's just that...wow, how does God keep track of all the different things that all the different people in this world want? And if everyone's so beautiful, how come nobody can see it? If everyone has a unique aspect, would it still be unique? Would it still be special? If we are all different, then we are all the same, so how would that make us different?

Someone I know ends his emails with this allegedly Japanese proverb, "None of us is as smart as all of us." Well none of us is the same as all of us. And all of us isn't really the same as any of us. And...it's just difficult to see how beautiful and special we can be if we're lumped together in one gigantic monotonous whole.

But...we just have to believe so. That our individual life means something, that our individual selves matter, and that our individual loves and passions will live on forever. We are all interesting, we all have stories to tell, and we all are beautiful and loved.

Amen.

Finding out about Petra

...after a long day...

a long day of watching Dawson's Creek that is. Hehe, and you thought I was busy all day and night working on my all important thesis, which by the way I was given another chance to finish. And which I really should act on. Because all this procrastination and mental deliberation on when to start it is really annoying already. Really.

less than a month to finish it all off. and i still am so far behind. maybe i should do an update about this every boring day of the week, just so I would feel ashamed of not doing anything. duh. doh.

okay, i've done the requisite 'thesis-whining' stuff. now on to the juicy parts of the day.

Aside from finally watching that Dawson's Creek finale (crying over Jen's death and falling in love with Pacey), my friend and I went out and ate at Brad Turvey's new resto, Petra. This is somewhere in Connecticut, right beside Vicky Belo's clinic. Hah, he must have found that resto site while waiting for Belo to fix up his face. Anyway, service that night was not good. The layout of the resto was all wrong, making it difficult for the waiters to greet any new customers. In fact no one opened the door for us, and we stood in the 'lobby' for around a minute waiting for someone to appear. During that minute, it fully dawned on us that service was clearly not okay. We contemplated on whether to leave the place, but we wanted to try out the food, and besides there were other customers in the joint, so it couldn't have been that bad.

after we were seated by a slightly nervous waitress ( i wonder why she was nervous), we looked over the menu. I forgot how they described their food, I think it was fusion but still with a touch of familiarity. Comfort food in other words, served in a 'fusion' wrapper, if there's such a thing. We ordered Gone Green, and something with beef and angel hair pasta (i forgot the name of the dish). The food is good. Sort of makes up for the service, which isn't really crappy, just more like undermanned.

Gone Green was good, pasta with pesto sauce and cream mushrooms and bacon. Not too rich, with hints of garlic and cream to leave a yummy taste in the mouth. Reminds me of CPK's pasta, though not as rich. My friend said it reminded her of Piadina's pesto cream pasta, although Petra's version was more yummy and less 'green' for me. The beef was okay, soft and juicy, but slightly 'tasteless' for the Filipino palate. You know us, we love salty and sweet food. We don't normally go for the bland beef flavor. We pour seasoning in everything we eat! This beef tasted good, but it tasted even better with lots of dressing and Lea Perrins sauce. The angel hair pasta that went with it, on the other hand, was blah. It was plain angel hair pasta, with neither dressing nor sauce. It was pasta boiled in water, and...that's it. No sauce. No oil. No nothing. I guess it was meant to be sort of like rice -- a plain alternative to match the beef viand. Anyway, the beef and the pesto pasta was great, so I'll forgive the angel hair pasta fiasco.

Prices were reasonable, not too expensive but not too cheap either. Dishes usually cost 250, I think dessert was 100+, refillable ice tea was 60+, fruit shake was 60+, and softdrinks 55+. Servings are good for one person, but you can still share if you want to. There were two of us and we shared two dishes. Ambience-wise, it's okay, the interiors had nice chairs and wall designs, but I was really bothered by the misplaced bar and cash register machine. The bar (where the cash register was) was hidden in some corner nook, thus making it difficult for the waiters/waitresses to view whoever was coming in the front door, in fact making it difficult to view anyone else in the dining area. Okay, I maybe just making excuses for their crappy service.

Anyway, the food's great, so that about makes up for it this time. Will I go back next time? Yes. Hopefully we'll be able to try the other dishes on the menu. Yum.

Value for money: ***1/2 (out of 5)
Taste: **** (out of 5)
Service: ** (out of 5, well the waiters weren't rude)