what he doesn't know

"I'm dying...dying to wake up without you, without you in my head again....
Dying...dying to live without you..."

What he doesn't know is i want him to make an effort. I want him to give me flowers. I want him to go out of his way, get down on his knees and give me flowers. Or a token gift. I don't know. Just something to really show me he loves me, and not the everyday practical stuff that we're used to. I guess something to sweep me off my feet.

"I'm dying, dying to find a distraction, get you away from me
I'm dying, dying to reach a conclusion, so that the world can see
It's the same old story of love and glory that broke before it bent
I'm dying to live without you again"

I think, if I just allow things to get back to normal this time, I will always be searching for the special effort, that special push from him. Perhaps, this is my downfall. Perhaps, this is my idealistic romanticism rearing its ugly head. How many times must I learn that fairy tales don't happen to normal people like me? But I want this, I also deserve this. I want to be swept off my feet every now and then. I want to be courted, gifted, surprised, enchanted. I want to feel beautiful and loved, and I want him to show me that I am loved and beautiful.

"It's a strange emotion this but there's still hope in this
As long as there's a breath....
I'm dying and I can't live without you again..."

This may be "girly" ramblings. I don't know. How much effort is enough anyway? But the fact that I'm asking that question...perhaps that just means I don't feel appreciated anymore.

If love is give and take, how much should we give before asking ourselves, how come the other side isn't allowing us to take more?

"I'm dying and I can't live without you again."*

*correct lyrics of "Dying", song by Five For Fighting, can be seen here.